My Letter to a Woman Embarking

This is my letter to you, a woman embarking. If you are content to risk everything worthwhile in and of yourself, by all means stop reading here.
What would I have heard, not just ‘listened’ to, but truly heard from anyone when I was embarking on the road you are venturing down? Nothing... perhaps.

However, here you are- someone I have cared about in some small way for so long. And here I am, past the end of a journey you now begin. I could say ‘I wish’. I wish. But, wishing is something you will lose the ability to do before too long. The walls of that ability will slowly shrink, and so if you wish to lose your luxury to wish, then by all means embark upon this road.

No one told me that I could lose so much. No one said that there would be holes in the walls of our homes. No one told me about the humiliation of lying, lying, lying- perpetually lying to cover up the evidence of his rage. No one warned me that I would watch a grown man yell into the face of my son while he cried. I didn’t know he would smash things, hit things, yell, scream, name-call.
I didn’t know he would never stop.
No one told me about this kind of enduring pain. Of course, if some well meaning individual had come along and tried to tell me where this path was leading me would I have listened? After all that was before my pride was broken.
Still if someone had only told me that when real men love they don’t love in parts, and they certainly don’t love only the parts of you that reflect what they want to love in themselves....
I wish someone would have explained to me that I deserved to be loved by a real man, and not by someone who believes that rape in a relationship isn’t actually rape at all.
I wish someone had told me that being loved isn’t living in a prison.
I wish.
For you, a woman embarking on a devastating journey... you see the red flags already, and you’ve heard the warnings inside your soul. Stop and listen. There’s nothing I can tell you that’s more precious than this.