Makeup, Mean Girls, and How-To Be A Real Woman

Mean Girl Lindsay Lohan
Courtesy: Wikimedia Commons
Navigating the world of makeup isn't always easy for me. I don't feel like anyone ever gave me a map. My mother didn't wear makeup (save for a minimal amount of liquid concealer and the odd occasion that called for a bit of rouge), so I didn't have a lot of exposure to cosmetics at home.

I was also one of those unlucky girls who ended up on the receiving end of 

Mean Girl Syndrome 

in grade 8: bullied about my appearance, my weight, my hygiene... anything that proved entertaining to my former best-friends, and nothing (I came to learn) that had anything to do with me. Thus, I lost my connection to a group of girls who (for all I knew) were having sleepovers, lip syncing to Boyz II Men, and teaching each other how to wear makeup. 

For years I felt like I had missed some important lesson on 'How To Be a Real Woman' (I'll save you some time-don't bother searching that), left out of an important club I'd been offered membership to, but didn't meet the requirements for. Once in a while, standing outside this privileged group, I'd make a little comment about how fake it was to wear a lot of makeup, how 'plastic' certain women seemed, or how shallow it was to invest so much in looks.

Had I learned nothing from Mean Girl Syndrome?

At some point I got sick of the feeling I had whenever I said anything even mildly critical of a woman for wearing makeup. And, I admitted I was jealous.

Really, it's not about makeup. 

It's about accepting the loss of those girlfriends, and that they succeeded in making me feel worthless. 

It's about getting over it, and learning how to appreciate and accept other women.

It's about defining my femininity for myself. 

Mean Girl Syndrome doesn't just infect adolescent girls. While I've never considered myself someone who deals with bullying by being a bully, the cattiness that's come out of my insecurity is directly connected to being bullied. And it can keep me from appreciating, learning from, and having relationships with amazing women if I let it.

Maybe it's because I'm older and 'wiser' (although, having chuckled writing that, maybe not)...
or maybe it's because I'm raising girls now and want to be their example of how to be a real woman and how to treat every other woman on earth like she's a real woman too...
but choosing to criticize other women over makeup is a choice I will no longer make. And it's incredibly easy to make a different choice.

Part of that means conquering makeup my way, finding brands that are:

-cruelty free, 
-as environmentally sound as possible, 
-of great quality, 
-and affordable,

putting them to the test, and learning what works for me. Part of it's also the adventure of exploring tutorials and reviews in the weird world of YouTube, learning what other women think about this aspect of their femininity. But at every step it is apparent to me that there is no authority on being a woman.

So I'll share my makeup adventures with you- not because I'm a guru, an expert, or an authority, but because I'm a real woman and (I think) so are you.

You should come follow my endeavours on YouTube HERE.