Afraid to Die

Today I received an email from someone about a video of mine called I'm Afraid to Die.



If you happen go to the video comments on YouTube you can see that I'm not alone in this fear (and if you're here because you share this fear neither are you). In fact, beyond the people commenting I've been contacted by people all over the world and of absolutely every age telling me they too fear dying. I once had a 15 year old boy find me on Facebook and, as he wrote to me and described his sometimes completely debilitating fear, I could almost feel the pain that brought him to reach out to a complete stranger and share such a dark and deep emotion.

I don't have any more answers now than I did when I made the video. I'm still afraid to die. Not afraid at all of HOW I will die mind you (although some ways could certainly be said to be preferable over others), or even really of when, but afraid of no longer existing. I can tell myself (and perhaps you do) I can't help it- we all meet the same end and so there's no use worrying about it. I can tell myself that when I end I won't care much anymore anyway so I really shouldn't waste obsessing about it now. I can tell myself that no one truly knows what's beyond- no matter how strong our beliefs are- and so I all can do really is hope for the best.

But if you fear death like I do you've probably tried all these things to little or no success.

Although a great number of religious and spiritual comments and conversations have come out of sharing this video I no more believe in God now than I did then. And if you do, that's great. But my heart doesn't sense, feel and believe the same thing and I am no more capable now than I have ever been of guessing at the wonder of this universe. All I really know is that I'm here.

And you're here.

And if you share a fear of dying I will offer you all I can honestly say and the best thing I have learned to do: find other things to apply your thinking to so you don't get overwhelmed by that feeling of fear and helplessness. Recognize the fear when it approaches and tries to take over and tell it that at some point before it happens you will reconcile and make peace with the idea of not being here anymore. Even if it's not today.

If you want or need to talk about it further you can always reach to me via social media (some of my profiles are over there on the right), or visit my About Me page to get in touch.